Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Results Are IN.......


What was possibly bladder or kidney cancer because they saw spots on the MRI turned out to be none other than kidney stones!!!  Not to say that it isn't a concern because it is painful to pass stones that are large BUT it is nothing compare to what they percieved it to be!!!

There is nothing that man can say that cannot be overruled by God.  I've learned that what you concern yourself with, you magnify.  The enemy places fear in us so that we can become anxious, worried and stressed.  In doing so, we then are contradicting the word of God and magnifying the enemy over God's power to do all that He promises.

For God tells us in Philippians 4:6-9 The Message:

 6-7Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.
 8-9Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

Instead of allowing our minds to be filled with the worst possibilities because of a report given to us by man, we should meditate on the best of God and His promises.  Pulling down the strongholds by our speaking of God's word of blessing and not cursing ourselves as we repeat what man says. 

When we are able to approach life's difficulties without fretting and with much praying, there is no possibility of us losing our peace.  Why?  Because we know that we know, who we know and that is Our Father God who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or think of (see Ephesians 3:20)! And our faith will make us well!!!!

Matthew 9:22 Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

And Jesus said to him, "Go; your faith has made you well." Immediately he regained his sight and began following Him on the road. ~ Mark 10:52

Now that's MY GOD!!!! 

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Yet Another Diagnosis

A couple of days ago, my husband called to notify me that they are taking more test because he continues to have blood in his urine.  It may be a possibility that he may have developed bladder cancer.  They mentioned that they had overlooked any other possibility of cancer besides his prostrate.  But they are concerned of his symptons and will do further testings.

Of course this news comes a couple of months after they overruled prostrate cancer.  This has put my husband in a place of great concern.  The strain of not knowing has caused much stress as it would with many.  This has caused him to lose hope and accept what may come.  His emotions have caused him to react in ways that have oppressed and depressed him.

Sometimes I sit and here and wonder why all this is happening.  "God you did not keep him from going to war in Afghanistan for him to die here."  "You did not allow him to come this far for him to lose it all".....There is more to this than what the natural eye can perceive! 

Saturday, November 26, 2011

In the Waiting

It has been three months since I've posted and I apologize for those who follow.  It has been quite a three months for me and my family. 

I have been in a waiting phase that never seems to end.  My husband is in the process of being medically discharged.  Unfortunately he will not be home anytime soon - so they say! 

During this time they have been taking test, evaluating, prodding, therapy and trying to put him in a coma with all the medications they prescribe.  Thank goodness that my husband is wise and uses his wisdom when it comes to taking them. 

Friday, August 19, 2011

Homes for Our Troops

Click on link

Homes for Our Troops, is a national non-profit, non-partisan 501(c)(3) organization founded in 2004. They are strongly committed to helping those who have selflessly given to our country and have returned home with serious disabilities and injuries since September 11, 2001. It is their duty and honor to assist severely injured Servicemen and Servicewomen and their immediate families by raising donations of money, building materials and professional labor and to coordinate the process of building a home that provides maximum freedom of movement and the ability to live more independently.

The homes provided by Homes for Our Troops are given at NO COST to the Veterans we serve.

Our Soldiers give so much of themselves, therefore unto them shall men give unto their bosom in return!! Thank you Homes for Our Troops for all that you returned to these brave soldiers!
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together and running over, shall men give into your bosom.  For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.”  Luke 6:38 KJV(emphasis added)

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Update Regarding My Soldier

About a month ago when my husband was ready to deploy overseas, there was an entry in his profile stating that he was not medically discharged for the mission.  Therefore he stayed behind while his unit deployed.  Although he was aware of the contents of his profile, he knew this newly found entry was God's doing. 

He was transferred to another state in which he will undergo laser surgery and therapy for a few months.  My husband was fearful of being totally discharged from the military for financial reasons.  He was grateful that God kept him from fighting this gruesome battle that has taken so many lives of his friends already.  But the guilt of not being there for his unit was overwhelming him and the fear of not being able to financially take care of his family filled him with regrets.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Pain of God's Hiddenness

O’ Lord my pain is deep and wide
Emptiness has settled inside
‘'Where is your God?’ my soul cries
Where is He? as your spirit dies!

Discouragement has entered and made its home
Causing me to feel alone
Its shadow of lies has extinguished my light
Why are You hidden from My sight?

O’ my soul arise from this slumber
The enemy seeks to put thee asunder
Sever the enemy’s deadly rope
By anchoring yourself in the eternal Hope.

"For He promises a little while I will struggle
Yet I will deliver you from all troubles"
God’s promises are faithful and true
Awaken my soul and be renewed………….

For several days I have battled what I come to understand now as “spiritual depression”.  I could not comprehend what was happening within me.  The overwhelming feeling of despair and hopelessness darkened my soul.  I felt isolated, withdrawn and desperate as I was experiencing the pain of God’s hiddenness. 

Where are You, Lord”? I cried, and cried.  “I need You!” The tears saturated my pillow night after night to no avail.  All that followed was a deep silence.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Breaking Free: Take Off The Mask

A military face mask purpose is to protect against the cold weather the soldiers are exposed to as well as other elements.

We, Military wives have our own version to protect us against the storms we are exposed to as well as the elements of our emotions.

How many of you own and wear this mask? If we are honest, most of us do!

Being a wife of a soldier, we are trained to be strong. We are to press forth against the force of adversity and never show our enemies our weakness!

Monday, May 30, 2011

This Memorial Day.... an especially hard day for me.  "Why?" you may ask. It's just a greater reminder of all the soldiers, including mine, that are going through at this time as we celebrate this holiday.  Yes, it's a wonderful day to celebrate our active soldiers along with the fallen ones in their honor.  Yet, I can't help to feel less than celebratory!

I am very proud of those who sacrifice their families and lives for us who are comfortably in our homes.  I am very proud of the wives, children, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and extended families who go without the presence of their loved ones daily. 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A Lesson Learned Through a Six Year Old!!

The other day my 6yr. old son, Sammy told me that he got in trouble in school because he started screaming in the class.  So I asked him why did he do that?  He said that a classmate received a "prize" and he wanted it.  He said he was mad because it was not him that got it.  So he said he started to scream and cry and was mad at his friend.

All was confirmed in the note the teacher sent home. I talked with my son and had reminded him that the previous week he had done well in class and received a prize as well.  I asked him how he would feel if his friend scream and got mad at him.  He said he wouldn't like that.  So I told him he needs to be happy and congratulate his friend next time. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

An Opportunity for a Miracle!

Today my husband shared with me that because he has been experiencing inflammation of his back and continues to suffer pain in his feet, they are considering surgery (which means his deployment will be on hold dependent upon the success of it). OR they may medically discharge him.  Although my husband is weary about the latter because of his concern for his unit as well as for us financially, I am praying that God will have him sent home!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Our Soldier's Families in Joplin, Mo.

This evening I received a message from my husband requesting prayer for the soldiers who have families in Joplin. Many of their homes have been destroyed.  This is devasting for all the people, but even the more for the soldiers who have left families behind.  They find themselves with added stress in not being able to be with their loved ones during this tragedy.  A sense of helplessness has overcome them and they grieve but yet they must continue to train for the battle before them. 

Let us stand between these soldiers and their families in prayer and all those who have lost loved ones, possessions, and their hope......

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Adopt a Soldier in Prayer

Would you consider adopting a Soldier to specifically intercede for them daily? If you have a loved one(s) currently serving, you also can participate in adopting another Soldier and stand in the gap for them and their family.

How this works? Those who have a Soldier will add their names on the "Personalized Prayer for Soldier" tab on this site.  Those willing to adopt a Soldier, I will assign them a name in which they take the responsibility to pray on their behalf and their family.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Though He Slay Me......

It's been a few days since I've posted being that so much has been transpiring in my life and family.  It has been one thing after another that I have found an association with Job from the bible. For those not familiar with his life, he experienced loss of his children, his wealth (security), and his health.  All that he possessed was gone in a serious of events within one day (Job 1:13-19).

Saturday, May 14, 2011


How is it possible that despite all our soldiers endure the government continues to place financial burdens on them and their families?

Not only have they cut back on their benefits (financial), they also require the soldiers to pay for medical coverage on top of the cuts! Oh yeah and get this, if they need extra uniforms they have to purchase them.  They even have to pay for their own laundry!!  I mean this is ridiculous!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

One of Those Days.....

Ever had one of those days..........Well, I had one of those today!  My little one stayed home from school because he was not feeling well through the night.  Let's say it was a loooooonnng night!

Remember that great neighbor who offered to mow my lawn, well he did at 8am!  I was sooooo tired but grateful that he was blessing me.  So I splashed some cold water on my face and dragged myself to the door.  I figure I'm up already, I might as well do something...yeah like get back to bed!!! 

But I waited until he was done then I ran to my comfy bed and passed out for a bit.....Then of course the phone calls are timed when I am falling deep into a coma!!!!  Ugh!! 

I became overwhelmed by some family problems that was brought to my attention and wished my husband was here to help.  It's hard to face some challenges alone when I was accustomed to having him here for support and offer a helping hand.  Now here I face these on my own.  What do I do? What can I do? I wish I had the answers but I don't. 

One thing I will not do and that is to become anxious because I know where that will lead.  Therefore, I cast my cares upon the Lord and wait to see what He will have me do in this situation. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7

Monday, May 9, 2011

God Answers!

This morning I looked at my backyard and noticed how much my lawn has grown.  It has gone unattended since my husband left and I have neither the tools or the energy to clean it up!  I figure by the time he returns it would be a jungle back there! Oh how I wish I could enjoy my yard once again especially now that the lovebugs are gone! 

My mind went wandering in thoughts of having some women over and have a night of bible study or just hang out and fellowship but then the thought quickly faded as I stared at the mess.  There was no way that was going to happen any time soon. 

That is until my neighbor came knocking on my door a few minutes ago and offered to mow my front lawn and backyard!!!!!  Glory to God!!!!  Of course I said "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS".......

I am truly amazed in how the Lord will give us the desires of our hearts even without me asking!  All I had was a thought and a hope for one day to enjoy my yard once again and here the Lord comes and blesses me!!!  Glory be to God!!  Thank YOU Lord for hearing the longings of my heart and answering them even before I asked!

"Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear." ~ Isaiah 65:24

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

To ALL Military Mothers,

I speak a special blessing over you in this day!  May the Lord strengthen your hands and give you all that you need to be not only the mothers to your children, but also being a dad during your husband's absence.  Being both roles during this time can be overwhelming but I take my hat off to those who are doing it!!

Also to the mother's who has a son or daughter serving our country: 

I salute you!!!  God bless you and your family!!

Enjoy this day!!!! 

Friday, May 6, 2011

Was Blessed Today!

He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted~ Isaiah 61:1

Remember my post about the oasis I discovered and the figurine that overwhelmed me with God's love?  Well, this is it!  I took my daughter today to the Living Word Christian Store and I told her the story of the impact this figurine had on me that day and she just scooped it up and said "Happy Mother's Day"!!

I was sooooooooooooooo happy!!!  Truly I was blessed!  I have placed it where I can see it and be reminded daily: by my computer!!!!   When I look at it, it just overwhelms me all over again because the heart He embraces is MINE!!! 

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Lord, Hear My Prayer


I come before your throne with a humble heart.  A heart that needs a touch of comfort.  Father only you know the needs of my husband.  He is in a place in which he cannot pray for himself.  His mind is being attacked daily with seeds of doubt and insecurity.  He has grown weary for lack of nourishment and rest both physically and spiritually.  Lord, I pray that when he lays down tonight even if its only a moment that he closes his eyes, that he may be able to see you.  That You can meet him in that moment and replenish his mind, body and soul.  Father you know the fears that have attached themselves and I pray that you shower him with your love because perfect love casts out all fears.  Lord he needs you and I need my husband.  Father, cover him in your grace and surround him with your angels and minister to him.  Bring him to a place of total surrendering in you.  Lord, hear my prayer as I offer it to you in the Name of Jesus. 

Thank You Father......

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Discovered an Oasis

When I returned home this morning from taking Sam to school, I buried myself under the covers in hopes of passing out.  Well, I twisted and turned seeking refuge from the thoughts that danced around my mind.  It seemed they were doing an Irish dance of sort. Whoa, all that skipping, hopping and trebles around my head was keeping me from finding rest. Finally, I was drifting away when SUDDENLY the phone rings and of course its hubby!  We chatted for about five minutes.  Okay so let's try this again.  Oh there it is - eyes are falling, mouth is dropping (ok like I'm the only one who sleeps with their mouth open) and RING RING!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Osama Bin Laden's Death

Last night as news broke out about Osama's death there has been a flood of facebook status' rejoicing in what they say is a historical moment for USA.  Some are questioning and debating whether his death occurred back in 2001 and the government has been hiding the truth for a decade.  Whether he died ten years ago or yesterday,  I do not share in the same excitement as many.  I just cannot rejoice in someone's death regardless what they have done.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Why ASK?

Okay, this is a little venting session for me so bare with me. 

I'm sure many of the military wives can relate to this because truly its so discouraging to receive a phone call from the hubby only to get in a few words. 


Husband: "Hey, how are you?
Wife:  "I'm good"
Husband:  "Did you pay the bills"
Wife:  "Yes"
Husband: "So anything new going on"
Wife:  "OH Yeah (excited voice)! I wanted to share this awesome........."
Husband: "Ok well I got to go, we talk later and we can share then"
Wife:  "Yeah Okay (disappointed voice) sure"....

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Army Drama

I was enlightened yesterday to the fact that "army drama" is experienced by many women whose husbands are deployed! Descriptions of crabbiness, grumpiness, insensitivity towards the emotional state of the wives and erratic behavior were shared!  I was like "wow", so I'm not the only one!  Whewww...thank God! 

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


We've been invaded!  Oh my, now what is up with those insects called "love bugs" in Florida!  I'm not used to this thing! Eeeeeeeeeeew......

Yesterday, I came face to face in battle with these peskly little creatures.  At first, I couldn't make out what they were.  They were slamming into my windshield, going inside the car and swarming around me in the multitudes when I got out of the car!  I'm swatting them from left to right.  I was getting the heebie jeebies!  I was told that if they were separated, they would die!

Well, I don't know how true that is, but jeez can these bugs be a little more private in their honeymooning stage! 

Saturday, April 23, 2011

I'm Putting on MY War Face!

Early this morning, like in 3a.m. EARLY, my phone rang.  We all know that when the phone rings at those hours, nothing positive comes from it.  These are the "dreaded" phone calls in the night hours we hesitate to answer.

As I hear it ringing from a distance, I fumble, tumble and finally got a hold of the phone.  It was Rey!  His tone of voice warned me that it was not going to be pleasant news.  He will be going to a remote place for more combat training that will not enable him to call or text me for the next five days!  He was very upset to say the least.  Of course I got the list of "to do's" and "not to do's".....mostly they were "not to do's" and be "a good girl" speech!  Okay Daddy! LOL.....

Friday, April 22, 2011

Light in the Midst of Darkness

There are days that may seem like all we ever will walk in is darkness.  The pressures of our daily lives accompanied by a deployment can take us over the edge.  There are moments you don't know whether to cry, scream or run from it all. 

I am so grateful that despite the stress, the loneliness, the moments in which my husband's reactions may be heart wrenching, I am not alone.  I may sit in a dark place for a moment, but surely "Light" comes to allow me to see that He is there to guide me in times when I cannot see my way through!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Oh No! I forgot my son!

Stress is hazardous to your health and especially the brain!

This week has been -  oh, how can I say without sounding negative....hmmmmmn.....STRESSFUL!! lol

At first,  Sammy, my five year old  got cooties from school! He had a stomach virus that consisted mainly of fever and VOMITTING!  Oh gosh, he puked all over my mustard colored couches, the floor and outside of the toilet bowl that he was hugging!  He had very bad aim!!!  Gotta work on that! This lasted for two and a half days! On top of that, hubby calls and let's just say that he is NOT himself! 

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Moments Like This....

My son, Sammy is not feeling well.  He seemed to have contracted a stomach virus from school.  My granddaughter that attends the same school is stricken with the same.  The first time he vomit was on the floor and I was able to easily clean it up.  Oh but just a few minutes ago as he was napping on my mustard colored couch, he puked his guts out! Oh gosh, it's moments like this that I miss my husband even the more!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Great News

My husband was released from the hospital today! Praise the Lord!  Before he was released, they re-examined and tested him and they literally are baffled as to why he was hospitalized in the first place because they found nothing wrong after all was said and done!  Do we serve a Mighty God or what!

Special Delivery This Morning!

What a delightful surprise this morning! It was about 9:00am and I heard knocking on my door. I thought I was dreaming. Could it be the Jehovah Witnessess? Maybe it's my daughter. I'll kill her if it's too early!

Being that I didn't go to sleep until 2:30am, I was half comatosed! Therefore, I stumbled like a drunkard making my way to the door when I took notice that I failed to put on my robe!  I quickly ran back to put it on.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

What NOT to Say to a Military Wife

I found this article "What NOT to Say to a Military Wife"(click to open link) on a friend's facebook page and of course being I'm a military wife, it drew me to read it!

Oh I had a good laugh with this.  How true of these questions that many have asked even me.  But in all, there are those who care about us and don't know how to express themselves.  There's never a good question when we face hard situations.  It's like asking how someone is doing whose loved one just passed away.  Although we know that obviously they are not doing well, we feel the need to say something.  And yet there are those who just don't have a clue! LOL.....

I've learned that sometimes just a big hug without words is sufficient enough.  In the hug are the comforting words that speak volumes!!

I hope that this article brings a smile to your face because it did for me.  I thought we call can use a laugh!

A glad heart makes a happy face; ~ Proverbs 15:13a

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

What a DAY!!

Today was an exceptional day! Yes, even though I woke up at 9am and was late to take Sam to school. He started his day at 10am! But rest assure I went running to drop him need my "alone" time!

Also my body was aching from cleaning my front yard. It's been the most exercise I've done in a looooonnng time! I have rediscovered muscles I never knew I had  until the pain exposed them! 

Monday, April 11, 2011

Mowing My Heart: Ouch!

To take my mind off of things, this morning I decided to work in the front yard.  Since my husband’s departure I have not tended to the lawn or backyard for that matter and it is a wreck!  Usually this is hubby’s duty! Well, now its mine amongst other things! Aaaaaah….Life of a military wife!

As I stood looking from the doorway, I glanced over and saw I had numerous big leaves, little leaves, branches and candy wrappers covering my lawn.  Before I changed my mind, I quickly went into action.  I got my broom, dustpan, rake, clippers, trash bags and this “thingy majigy” that hubby bought to whack the growing grass!  NO, I do not have a lawnmower!  I went old school on this!!

God is Faithful

It's been very tough these past two days. Since my husband was hospitalized, there seems to be a familiar spirit rising within him that is causing him to become frustrated and insecure.

I say "familiar spirit" because these are negative attitudes that developed in his last deployment. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity are causing him to react insensitively.  The interrogations of my whereabouts and the abrupt endings of phone calls have commenced.  I had fears that this would reoccur. And it has.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

News about My Husband

I got a call about five minutes ago from my husband's Lieutenant.  The moment he introducted himself, I knew something was wrong.  Although he did not mention the cause of his call, he provided me with a number I can contact my husband.

As I quickly dialed the number, my husband's voice at the other end soothed my anxiety.  He shared that he was in the hospital for medical treatment of a bruised spleen during combat training. During some routine testings, they have also discovered some spots on his liver.  Therefore he will be hospitalized until further testings.

Hard Thing to Do: Waiting

It's been well over 24hrs since I've heard from my husband!  Although he is still in training and not overseas, I can't help to wonder.  Waiting is the most difficult action!.  The mind wanders and weariness overcomes us.  Despite faith, our yearning to know is great.  "Is he ok?"

Just the same, we must build our faith by trusting in God during these times.  Even though we ask God for answers, there are times that answers will not strengthen us, but learning to wait does!

"Yet those who wait for the LORD Will gain new strength; They will mount up with wings like eagles, They will run and not get tired, They will walk and not become weary."~ Isaiah 40:31

Friday, April 8, 2011

Isn't Like Something or Someone Who Rains on Your Parade.....

My day at the beach with my son was GRRRRRReat!  Truly it was refreshing. Although I didn't get to read my bible, the Lord made the Word manifest itself in visual. 
As my son was building a sand castle, I took notice on how he first was digging deep into the sand.  He digged and digged until there was a hole enough to hold water.  He then got his pail and fetched some water. As he was filling the hole, the sand soaked it up.  He didn't give up.  He continued to dig again.  Removing the broken shells that were in his way. 

A Time of Refreshing

Okay Ladies, it's time for some refreshing of the mind, body and soul!!  I am sure that throughout the week you have endured many struggles and have become weary. I know I have.  So come, take today and seek some renewal of your spirit. You deserve and NEED it!  I know I do!!!

Therefore, I have purposed this afternoon to dip myself in some refreshing water.  I am going to the beach!! I will swim (or appear like I'm't know how to swim..shhhhh) so that I may refresh the body. I'm going to read a new book I purchased called "The Passion of Jesus Christ" and the bible so that I may refresh the mind and I will glean at the beauty of God's fingerprints that surround me so that I may refresh my soul!!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ~ Matthew 11:28

"I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint." ~ Jeremiah 31:25

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Government Shut Down

Now I understand why my husband is stressed besides everything else! What amazes me is that our loved ones are sacrificing their lives for this country and this is how they repay them or NOT (pay them)! 

But I am thankful that we serve a King who governs justly! Regardless, our source is not in the systems of this world, but God's! 

Let us press in prayer for God to overrule this and divinely supply the needs of His people!

"But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." ~ Phil. 4:19

For further information Milspouse: Government Shutdown

Lord, Hug Him for Me.......

This morning I received a call from my husband.  His voice once strong now was weary.  All the stress of training and our separation was causing him despair.  Although he didn't share much on our call, he goes on to text me:

"Please forgive me for not sharing this morning. I just dont want to always be putting my hurts and stressful moments on you. I know you have stresses of your own. But just know that I love you and miss you alot. I wish you were here to hold me."  

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Pulled Over by Officer Friendly

These last few days I have reverted into a newborn.  Up all night and sleep the day!  Well maybe not the whole day but a good part of it!  Lord help me!

Anyway this morning my body was not cooperating with my mind! As I lay in bed, my mind is saying "it's time to get up" and my body responded "no it's not".  Guess who won?  Yep! You guessed it!

Of course we were running late, and the morning ritual of brush the teeth, make breakfast, get dressed, rush the kid, look for keys, rush the kid was in full force at a high velocity!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Despite What I Go Through........

...I will praise You Lord! Through the good and the bad..

No loneliness, despair, anxiety, heartache, or troubles can separate me from the love I have for the Lord....

Love Covers a Multitude of Sins

In reading a request for prayer from a young military wife in regards to her marriage and family, it brought back the memories of my husband’s previous tour of duty in 2009.

She shared the stress and impact she is experiencing due to her husband’s strenuous position in the military and his upcoming deployment. She mentioned how he has become verbally abusive, paranoid and unreasonable with her and their children.

“I love him so much but I’m scared of the man he has become” she desperately shares in her letter.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Lord, Here I Am.....

There have been many changes taking place in my life besides the deployment of my husband.  These last few days have been a time of dying to my flesh - pride, unforgiveness and disobedience.  This process has been very painful.  Besides having to deal again with the absence of my husband when he returned back last week, I have found myself crying to the Lord to remove these emotions that have bombarded my soul.

We don't realize the hidden things we carry within us until the Lord exposes them.  If the Lord confronts you with something, rest assure its something He desires to change.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Waving the White Flag

 This morning I have received renewed strength as I have lain before the Lord through out the night.  All I did was wave my white flag of surrender. Tears flowed and a heart of repentance and desperateness was offered unto Him. No longer can I move on my own, nor do I desire to.  These last few days, God has shown me the deeper things that are hidden within me.  Exposure leaves you vulnerable but acknowledging the truth heals.  I chose the latter for my soul desperately needs deliverance.

I encourage you today to also seek the latter: truth that heals.  It’s so easy to get entangled in our emotions during this time - loneliness, anger, jealousy, insecurities, doubts, fears and sadness.  The daily burdens cause us to be bent over in distress.  Our troubles are magnified when we are weary producing hopelessness.  We may feel that our cries go in vain and we cease to pray.  Allow the Lord to deliver you from your despair.  Whatever it may be that you struggle with at this very moment, I implore you to wave your flag of surrender and take refuge under the Banner of His Love.  You may feel that nobody understands what you are going through, but I know of One who does. His Name is Jesus. 

Although I have not slept, I feel strengthened as He saturated me in His love and peace! I would have not received if I had not surrendered ALL!  It’s not enough just to give Him some parts of your heart, give Him access to all the areas that you struggle with as difficult as it may be for you.  Know that you are entrusting your fragile heart to the One Who mends the broken heart, The Potter who shapes and molds, The One Who is Light dispelling your darkness, The God of Love who will tenderize and saturate your heart with His unconditional love….......................
Surrender All

When you find yourself in trouble,
or suffering or distressed
come to your Father
the one that knows you best.

Although Our Father knows,
the burdens of your heart,
He needs you to surrender all,
so He can do His part.

Praying without ceasing,
according to His word,
persistence is the key
and know that you are heard.

Our way is not His way,
Our time is not His time
but you have His assurance
His Glory He will shine.

~Maggie Rodriguez

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

Isaiah 60:1 "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

Surrendering ALL
"Pray without ceasing." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Fiery Furnace

My greatest desire for this blog is to be totally transparent and allow others into my world as a Christian military wife.  In doing so, I believe it will minister to the hearts of the women as together we explore valleys and mountains that we all travel on through our marriage and family life! Especially during deployment!

As you all have read, my husband came home on a five day leave.  He returned yesterday and my heart weighs heavily with sorrow for many reasons.  Of course one reason is due to missing him immensely.  But the other reasons are of regrets.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"Why couldn't I just leave it ALONE!"

Recently, I found my first bible that was given to me as a gift in celebration of my Baptism in 1997. It was full-grain, soft burgundy leather Ryrie Study Bible (NASV Version-Red Letter).  Absolutely beautiful bible! It was especially dear to me as I had my favorites scriptures marked, special notes & dates and an account of what I experienced on the day of becoming a new creation in Christ!

Through the years I had acquired several bibles in other translations and have placed this one on the shelf.  It became dusty, the leather was worn and dull and there were a few small blotches of what I perceive as white paint (how it got there is beyond me). 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wrap Me in Your Arms

These last two days have been rather hectic. I've been cleaning, redecorating, and finishing odds and ends for when my soldier arrives!! I am exhausted! 

It explains why I haven't posted!  I just want my husband to come home to a nice, clean and cozy home where he can sit back, relax and LOVE ME!!  Wrap his arms around me and hold me tight and never let go..(well atleast these 5 days that is)

Thursday is the big day! We counting!!!  

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Enemy is a LIAR!

It is yet early in the  afternoon , and it’s been an emotional day thus far!


We SHALL stand in the ministry of Jesus Christ, Our Savior.  The ministry of Reconciliation! 

Friday, March 18, 2011

Some Trust in Chariots

Being that this morning was NOT a good morning for me, I felt the need to surround myself in God’s splendor for comfort.  Therefore, I took a drive to the beach! There is nothing like experiencing His Presence in the vastness of the ocean.  Seeing His hands on everything you rest your eyes upon.  One word to describe it: Majestic!

As I journeyed towards the beach with much anticipation, I heard His still voice within asking me why was I so anxious.  I really was! I just wanted to get there quickly! So, I understood to be still in my soul.  At that moment I happened to look at my gas gauge and noticed that I had a little over a quarter tank! There went my anxiety level! OH NO!


In honor of my Soldier "Sgt. Rey Rodriguez"

I'm wearing MY RED!!!!!


Lonesomeness in Disguise

What defines loneliness? Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationships.  (taken from

Of course it’s an unpleasant feeling! Especially when the one you love; the man you have shared everyday with is millions of miles away!  

This morning after I returned from taking my son to school, I entered my home to find an unwelcoming presence.  Its appearance was like a shadow lurking, awaiting to overpower my soul the moment I opened my door.   This darkness was a familiar admirer.  It has returned although I had place restraints. Or did I?

Emptiness has returned to store my emotions of loneliness and create an overwhelming feeling of gloom.  This intruder sensed the counterfeit solutions I adapted to avoid its traps.

My disguise consisted of the following:

  1. Busyness: filling my life with activities so that I don’t have to think about my loneliness.
  2. Buying: purchasing something new to make me feel better
  3. Bed: sleeping during the day to avoid the sting of loneliness

Although my busyness consisted of “godly things” my approach failed. My efforts created a false sense of peace.  Buying, whether it was “things” or “comfort food” only produced a false satisfaction.  Creeping into bed during the day to avoid “feeling”, has only robbed me of precious “alone” time with the Lord.

In essence, loneliness will always lurk while our spouses are away but we don’t have to live in the darkness it produces.  The first step is to identify the masks you are hiding behind to deal with your husband’s absence. The second is to take them off! The third is to bring them to the Lord in confession and repentance.  And lastly, be open to receive the true peace that solely comes from God.  

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]" ~ John 14:27 Amplified Bible

Do not permit the intruder of darkness to intimidate you. Instead when it comes to trouble you, call on the Prince of Peace; Jesus Christ!  His Light dispels the darkness! Therefore abide in Him and live in His glorious peace!

May peace be with you.......

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Behind Every Soldier is a Strong Woman

Behind every soldier is a strong woman.  A woman equipped to stand on the frontlines readied with fingers to fight and hands to war.  Your field is at the home-front where the battles are waged, yet you stand.  Not of your own, but in the Word of God that imparts wisdom and strength.

Although your soul may weep and become weary; the Lord will strengthen you according to His Word.  He will revive you as you meditate on His goodness.  He will guide your steps through the valleys and extends His hands as you climb the mountains.  For the Lord God is Your Keeper; Your Protector.  The Lord is your shade; shielding you from the heat of your daily burdens.  Do not be afraid or anxious about tomorrow of what that day may bring.  Eat of the daily bread that He supplies.  Seek and find rest in the Lord; Your Refuge and Tower. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Place I Most Want to Be......

Today as I was sitting on the couch, I happen to look at my coffee table and thought of my husband.

You may ask “How does a coffee table remind you of your husband?”  Well I’m glad you asked…LOL

You see, I had found this table out in the curbside as we were driving one day.  We hauled it in the trunk and I envisioned the end result once I slap some paint on it! This once piece of garbage, quickly became my treasure! 

Well, I still can’t see what this has to do with your husband?” Okay…I’m getting there.

You Mean "Now"? (Part Two)

There was a man who was asked to fulfill a great task. An assignment far beyond giving someone a trac. He set out to accomplish a Father's heart desire. A sacrificial love that cost Him more than obedience, it cost Him His life!  This ultimate sacrifice was attached to a purpose. It breached a gap that enables us to receive His love and forgiveness and grow in relationship with Him.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Remember that in all you do for your family and for the Lord, our sacrifice of time does not go in vain. Whatever task/assignment may be presented to you daily, know that its attached with a purpose.  One that cultivates love and growth within and in all our relationships!

A Great Daddy

On my way home from church, my little one says "Mommy, I miss daddy! He's a great daddy.  Though he yells at me sometimes, because I don't listen.  He still a good daddy and I don't want to SELL him!  LOL.....

Oh that was so funny!

Our children could be the greatest comfort to us during these times! My little Sammy brought me laughter that healed my heart of sadness....

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." ~ Proverbs 17:22

You Mean "Now"?

Have you ever been asked to do something that you knew well in your gut, you were not prepare to do? Well atleast not at that moment and definetely not what you had in mind!

"You mean now!!!!!?" is usually our response when we are hesitant in doing what we are being asked to do. 

QUESTION: "Hey honey, can you give me a foot rub?"
RESPONSE:  "You mean now!!!? Can it wait until I finish reading this book.  I have a couple of pages left "(yet you know you are not even close to finishing reading since you are on page 10 of 200 pages). AND the thought of squeezing sweaty big feet and hairy toes gives you the heebie jeebies!

Monday, March 14, 2011

"Sleepless In Florida"

Okay, so I didn't go to sleep unitl this morning at 5a.m.! AND had to get up in two hours to prepare my son for school! Of course, I didn't make the two hour mark! I woke up frantically at 8am, when usually that's the time we are heading out!

Oh how things became chaotic so quickly. "ALL common sense" was still in "sleep mode" as I was trying to figure out breakfast, packing lunch, getting dressed, and the car keys: oh gosh where's my keys! Racing quickly down the streets (unwise) trying to catch the green light, I feel my wheels wobbling.  Okay.  Now what? So it was either slowing down and be late or pop a wheel and never get there!  So my discernment kicked in and I slowed down. 

Sleep deprivation is NOT wise! I saw the effects not only in my functionality or lack of; but in my attitude! Talk about losing patience! I was like a drill sargeant commanding my little one "get up", "get dressed", "brush your teeth", "eat", "hurry up"!  Poor baby, he was frazzled and was trying to keep up with all my demands. 

Have you ever had a morning like this?

All in all, we must not lose sight that despite how complicated our life may get as we hold the fort down, we must discern when our mind, body and soul needs rest. 

Let us command our soul: "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." ~Psalm 62:5

My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace. They keep you safe on your way,and your feet will not stumble. You can go to bed without fear;you will lie down and sleep soundly.
Proverbs 3:21-24

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Bittersweet Homecoming!

I am very excited and counting the days, hours, minutes and seconds: 10days, 13 hrs. and oh gosh don't know how many seconds.!!!! I think you get the picture of my anticipation of his arrival!

Well, I was hoping to be a bit thinner but it's only been two weeks, so I really haven't changed much! I've been waiting on "mondays" to start my exercise and diet plan but I just can't seem to make out which "monday" I want to start!...LOL....I mean, I'm not fat.....I'm just fluffy!  And hubby loves every bit of roll I have stored....

But of course, we as women love to look nice for our husbands or maybe some don't....LOL...I guess it depends on their relationship.  They may be M&M's:  Married & Miserable!

Ask, Seek & Knock

As I went about my day, I couldn't help but feel the sting of emptiness. I tried to busy myself with so many things but to no avail.  Instead when I settled in and came into a quiet moment I took notice that despite my attempts to fill the void in my heart, I had failed to seek the One who can.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Two are Better Than One!

A sister in Christ once said “being apart from her soul mate is like trying to ride a bicycle with one wheel”. Have you ever tried riding a bicycle with one wheel missing?  It’s impossible!  So they say……

Well for someone like myself who doesn’t know HOW to ride a bicycle, I couldn’t quite grasp this statement!  That is until today!

These last few days I’ve experienced many changes.  Besides the emotional aspect of my husband’s absence, I’ve come to realize how much I depended on him AND all he contributed to the household.  Me, the “I am independent super woman” (can you sense the pride)!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Can We Shorten This Cross, God?


It seemed that everything than can go wrong, WENT WRONG! All I wanted to do was go out and buy refills for my daily planner and it turned into an adventure of sorts.

The moment I pulled out into the street I had this tail-gator on my rear bumper. Just like an alligator with his mouth ready to plunge and bite my tail off! I said to myself “Self, you are a Christian, remember?” But oh how I wanted to just stop short! So I just waved for him to go ahead of me (I did grumble a few words under my breath then repented)!

Taking a deep breath, I continued on my quest. I enter Staples only to be blown away! The prices on these refills are ridiculous. The lowest price for the monthly refills, were $8.99 never mind the daily ones. Ugh!

Hey, I figured I can find them at Walmart! After driving in traffic for about 20 minutes they did not have them! Ugh!

I set out to Office Depot! Another twenty minutes of traffic in another direction. It seems that this is the average price for these things! So I break and decided to buy them. While waiting in line for what seems like an eternity, the cashier rings me up. MY CARD DECLINES! What? How could this be? Hubby just transferred money into the account! Ugh!

I drive back home rather upset at this point. I have traveled near and far for nothing! I arrive home to then find my toilet is backed up! Okaaaaay double UGH!

As I am preparing soup for my son, the water I just boiled spills over my fingers and at that exact moment my husband calls me! Yeah, you guessed right! Conversation was not that pleasant! Well at least I wasn’t! Ugh!

"Lord can you shorten my cross a little? Just a little more?"

A friend happens to send me an email and it’s a cartoon of people carrying their crosses. They were slumped over as they walked on their journey. This young man stops and cries out “Lord this is too heavy, please cut it down a little”. He continues to walk again and it’s still heavy “Lord can you cut it down a little more….I’ll be able to carry it better.” He continues his journey whistling with relief. They all came to a large gap on the road and were able to lay down their crosses as a bridge and cross over. That is all BUT the one with the shortened cross!

Isn't it like us to want comfort and ease in all things we do! We want shortcuts!  We complain of all the obstacles we face daily, but overall they are preparing us for the dip in the road ahead until we finish the race!

This message powerfully ministered to me the importance and significance of carrying our cross daily and following Him. We may not always understand the trials we endure in this journey called “life” and where it’s taking us, but Our Lord does! And He promises us rest along the way:

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30 (NASV)

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain....

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call.....

He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...

Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light...

The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love....

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. (Anonymous)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"This Too Shall Pass"

Loneliness was settling in this morning.  I can feel the shadow that is covering my heart; sitting heavily.  

It’s been two weeks since my husband has left for training.  Although we have been able to communicate, there is this emptiness inside.  Previous to his departure, I had built a wall of strength on my own - preparing a fortress that I can hide behind; one that is made of stone and will not crumble in the days to come. But now I find myself buried in my emotions that I have so long suppressed.  They are arising quickly with a fierceness cracking the walls I built around my heart.  My fortress is crumbling and I feel vulnerable, exposed and weak.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Prayer for Our Soldiers

"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you" ~Psalm 33:22

Father, My Lord, My God
I come before your throne of Grace and come with a burden for my husband and all the soldiers that are embarking on this journey to fight for our country and those who have been serving. Lord, keep them in your loving arms. Protect them from the enemy and encamp your angels around them. Give their bodies rest, replenish their souls and  renew their mind daily. Let your love and strength carry them through the day and through the night. Let your light shine upon their face and pour your joy in their hearts for the Joy of the Lord is their strength! Their hope is in you Father. Lift the burdens of their heart for their families and reassure them of their safety and love. Let your peace abound and fill them even through the midst of chaos. Pour your wisdom and keep them alert of what is lurking. Give them strategic plans to gain victory in all battles as you bring them back home safely to their families.
Encourage those they leave behind. Sustain them with your strength. Draw them to your heart and let them find rest in you. Our hope is in you Lord, and we will stand firm in our faith, believing that you will cover them and shelter them from harm. Lord let your will be done.....In Jesus Name I pray, we pray....Amen.
May God Bless you all.....


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