Thursday, March 31, 2011

Waving the White Flag

 This morning I have received renewed strength as I have lain before the Lord through out the night.  All I did was wave my white flag of surrender. Tears flowed and a heart of repentance and desperateness was offered unto Him. No longer can I move on my own, nor do I desire to.  These last few days, God has shown me the deeper things that are hidden within me.  Exposure leaves you vulnerable but acknowledging the truth heals.  I chose the latter for my soul desperately needs deliverance.

I encourage you today to also seek the latter: truth that heals.  It’s so easy to get entangled in our emotions during this time - loneliness, anger, jealousy, insecurities, doubts, fears and sadness.  The daily burdens cause us to be bent over in distress.  Our troubles are magnified when we are weary producing hopelessness.  We may feel that our cries go in vain and we cease to pray.  Allow the Lord to deliver you from your despair.  Whatever it may be that you struggle with at this very moment, I implore you to wave your flag of surrender and take refuge under the Banner of His Love.  You may feel that nobody understands what you are going through, but I know of One who does. His Name is Jesus. 

Although I have not slept, I feel strengthened as He saturated me in His love and peace! I would have not received if I had not surrendered ALL!  It’s not enough just to give Him some parts of your heart, give Him access to all the areas that you struggle with as difficult as it may be for you.  Know that you are entrusting your fragile heart to the One Who mends the broken heart, The Potter who shapes and molds, The One Who is Light dispelling your darkness, The God of Love who will tenderize and saturate your heart with His unconditional love….......................
Surrender All

When you find yourself in trouble,
or suffering or distressed
come to your Father
the one that knows you best.

Although Our Father knows,
the burdens of your heart,
He needs you to surrender all,
so He can do His part.

Praying without ceasing,
according to His word,
persistence is the key
and know that you are heard.

Our way is not His way,
Our time is not His time
but you have His assurance
His Glory He will shine.

~Maggie Rodriguez

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts. ~ Isaiah 55:8-9

Isaiah 60:1 "Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the LORD rises upon you.

Surrendering ALL
"Pray without ceasing." ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Fiery Furnace

My greatest desire for this blog is to be totally transparent and allow others into my world as a Christian military wife.  In doing so, I believe it will minister to the hearts of the women as together we explore valleys and mountains that we all travel on through our marriage and family life! Especially during deployment!

As you all have read, my husband came home on a five day leave.  He returned yesterday and my heart weighs heavily with sorrow for many reasons.  Of course one reason is due to missing him immensely.  But the other reasons are of regrets.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"Why couldn't I just leave it ALONE!"

Recently, I found my first bible that was given to me as a gift in celebration of my Baptism in 1997. It was full-grain, soft burgundy leather Ryrie Study Bible (NASV Version-Red Letter).  Absolutely beautiful bible! It was especially dear to me as I had my favorites scriptures marked, special notes & dates and an account of what I experienced on the day of becoming a new creation in Christ!

Through the years I had acquired several bibles in other translations and have placed this one on the shelf.  It became dusty, the leather was worn and dull and there were a few small blotches of what I perceive as white paint (how it got there is beyond me). 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Wrap Me in Your Arms

These last two days have been rather hectic. I've been cleaning, redecorating, and finishing odds and ends for when my soldier arrives!! I am exhausted! 

It explains why I haven't posted!  I just want my husband to come home to a nice, clean and cozy home where he can sit back, relax and LOVE ME!!  Wrap his arms around me and hold me tight and never let go..(well atleast these 5 days that is)

Thursday is the big day! We counting!!!  

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Enemy is a LIAR!

It is yet early in the  afternoon , and it’s been an emotional day thus far!


We SHALL stand in the ministry of Jesus Christ, Our Savior.  The ministry of Reconciliation! 

Friday, March 18, 2011

Some Trust in Chariots

Being that this morning was NOT a good morning for me, I felt the need to surround myself in God’s splendor for comfort.  Therefore, I took a drive to the beach! There is nothing like experiencing His Presence in the vastness of the ocean.  Seeing His hands on everything you rest your eyes upon.  One word to describe it: Majestic!

As I journeyed towards the beach with much anticipation, I heard His still voice within asking me why was I so anxious.  I really was! I just wanted to get there quickly! So, I understood to be still in my soul.  At that moment I happened to look at my gas gauge and noticed that I had a little over a quarter tank! There went my anxiety level! OH NO!


In honor of my Soldier "Sgt. Rey Rodriguez"

I'm wearing MY RED!!!!!


Lonesomeness in Disguise

What defines loneliness? Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationships.  (taken from

Of course it’s an unpleasant feeling! Especially when the one you love; the man you have shared everyday with is millions of miles away!  

This morning after I returned from taking my son to school, I entered my home to find an unwelcoming presence.  Its appearance was like a shadow lurking, awaiting to overpower my soul the moment I opened my door.   This darkness was a familiar admirer.  It has returned although I had place restraints. Or did I?

Emptiness has returned to store my emotions of loneliness and create an overwhelming feeling of gloom.  This intruder sensed the counterfeit solutions I adapted to avoid its traps.

My disguise consisted of the following:

  1. Busyness: filling my life with activities so that I don’t have to think about my loneliness.
  2. Buying: purchasing something new to make me feel better
  3. Bed: sleeping during the day to avoid the sting of loneliness

Although my busyness consisted of “godly things” my approach failed. My efforts created a false sense of peace.  Buying, whether it was “things” or “comfort food” only produced a false satisfaction.  Creeping into bed during the day to avoid “feeling”, has only robbed me of precious “alone” time with the Lord.

In essence, loneliness will always lurk while our spouses are away but we don’t have to live in the darkness it produces.  The first step is to identify the masks you are hiding behind to deal with your husband’s absence. The second is to take them off! The third is to bring them to the Lord in confession and repentance.  And lastly, be open to receive the true peace that solely comes from God.  

"Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give and bequeath to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]" ~ John 14:27 Amplified Bible

Do not permit the intruder of darkness to intimidate you. Instead when it comes to trouble you, call on the Prince of Peace; Jesus Christ!  His Light dispels the darkness! Therefore abide in Him and live in His glorious peace!

May peace be with you.......

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Behind Every Soldier is a Strong Woman

Behind every soldier is a strong woman.  A woman equipped to stand on the frontlines readied with fingers to fight and hands to war.  Your field is at the home-front where the battles are waged, yet you stand.  Not of your own, but in the Word of God that imparts wisdom and strength.

Although your soul may weep and become weary; the Lord will strengthen you according to His Word.  He will revive you as you meditate on His goodness.  He will guide your steps through the valleys and extends His hands as you climb the mountains.  For the Lord God is Your Keeper; Your Protector.  The Lord is your shade; shielding you from the heat of your daily burdens.  Do not be afraid or anxious about tomorrow of what that day may bring.  Eat of the daily bread that He supplies.  Seek and find rest in the Lord; Your Refuge and Tower. 

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The Place I Most Want to Be......

Today as I was sitting on the couch, I happen to look at my coffee table and thought of my husband.

You may ask “How does a coffee table remind you of your husband?”  Well I’m glad you asked…LOL

You see, I had found this table out in the curbside as we were driving one day.  We hauled it in the trunk and I envisioned the end result once I slap some paint on it! This once piece of garbage, quickly became my treasure! 

Well, I still can’t see what this has to do with your husband?” Okay…I’m getting there.

You Mean "Now"? (Part Two)

There was a man who was asked to fulfill a great task. An assignment far beyond giving someone a trac. He set out to accomplish a Father's heart desire. A sacrificial love that cost Him more than obedience, it cost Him His life!  This ultimate sacrifice was attached to a purpose. It breached a gap that enables us to receive His love and forgiveness and grow in relationship with Him.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

Remember that in all you do for your family and for the Lord, our sacrifice of time does not go in vain. Whatever task/assignment may be presented to you daily, know that its attached with a purpose.  One that cultivates love and growth within and in all our relationships!

A Great Daddy

On my way home from church, my little one says "Mommy, I miss daddy! He's a great daddy.  Though he yells at me sometimes, because I don't listen.  He still a good daddy and I don't want to SELL him!  LOL.....

Oh that was so funny!

Our children could be the greatest comfort to us during these times! My little Sammy brought me laughter that healed my heart of sadness....

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine..." ~ Proverbs 17:22

You Mean "Now"?

Have you ever been asked to do something that you knew well in your gut, you were not prepare to do? Well atleast not at that moment and definetely not what you had in mind!

"You mean now!!!!!?" is usually our response when we are hesitant in doing what we are being asked to do. 

QUESTION: "Hey honey, can you give me a foot rub?"
RESPONSE:  "You mean now!!!? Can it wait until I finish reading this book.  I have a couple of pages left "(yet you know you are not even close to finishing reading since you are on page 10 of 200 pages). AND the thought of squeezing sweaty big feet and hairy toes gives you the heebie jeebies!

Monday, March 14, 2011

"Sleepless In Florida"

Okay, so I didn't go to sleep unitl this morning at 5a.m.! AND had to get up in two hours to prepare my son for school! Of course, I didn't make the two hour mark! I woke up frantically at 8am, when usually that's the time we are heading out!

Oh how things became chaotic so quickly. "ALL common sense" was still in "sleep mode" as I was trying to figure out breakfast, packing lunch, getting dressed, and the car keys: oh gosh where's my keys! Racing quickly down the streets (unwise) trying to catch the green light, I feel my wheels wobbling.  Okay.  Now what? So it was either slowing down and be late or pop a wheel and never get there!  So my discernment kicked in and I slowed down. 

Sleep deprivation is NOT wise! I saw the effects not only in my functionality or lack of; but in my attitude! Talk about losing patience! I was like a drill sargeant commanding my little one "get up", "get dressed", "brush your teeth", "eat", "hurry up"!  Poor baby, he was frazzled and was trying to keep up with all my demands. 

Have you ever had a morning like this?

All in all, we must not lose sight that despite how complicated our life may get as we hold the fort down, we must discern when our mind, body and soul needs rest. 

Let us command our soul: "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." ~Psalm 62:5

My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace. They keep you safe on your way,and your feet will not stumble. You can go to bed without fear;you will lie down and sleep soundly.
Proverbs 3:21-24

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Bittersweet Homecoming!

I am very excited and counting the days, hours, minutes and seconds: 10days, 13 hrs. and oh gosh don't know how many seconds.!!!! I think you get the picture of my anticipation of his arrival!

Well, I was hoping to be a bit thinner but it's only been two weeks, so I really haven't changed much! I've been waiting on "mondays" to start my exercise and diet plan but I just can't seem to make out which "monday" I want to start!...LOL....I mean, I'm not fat.....I'm just fluffy!  And hubby loves every bit of roll I have stored....

But of course, we as women love to look nice for our husbands or maybe some don't....LOL...I guess it depends on their relationship.  They may be M&M's:  Married & Miserable!

Ask, Seek & Knock

As I went about my day, I couldn't help but feel the sting of emptiness. I tried to busy myself with so many things but to no avail.  Instead when I settled in and came into a quiet moment I took notice that despite my attempts to fill the void in my heart, I had failed to seek the One who can.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Two are Better Than One!

A sister in Christ once said “being apart from her soul mate is like trying to ride a bicycle with one wheel”. Have you ever tried riding a bicycle with one wheel missing?  It’s impossible!  So they say……

Well for someone like myself who doesn’t know HOW to ride a bicycle, I couldn’t quite grasp this statement!  That is until today!

These last few days I’ve experienced many changes.  Besides the emotional aspect of my husband’s absence, I’ve come to realize how much I depended on him AND all he contributed to the household.  Me, the “I am independent super woman” (can you sense the pride)!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Can We Shorten This Cross, God?


It seemed that everything than can go wrong, WENT WRONG! All I wanted to do was go out and buy refills for my daily planner and it turned into an adventure of sorts.

The moment I pulled out into the street I had this tail-gator on my rear bumper. Just like an alligator with his mouth ready to plunge and bite my tail off! I said to myself “Self, you are a Christian, remember?” But oh how I wanted to just stop short! So I just waved for him to go ahead of me (I did grumble a few words under my breath then repented)!

Taking a deep breath, I continued on my quest. I enter Staples only to be blown away! The prices on these refills are ridiculous. The lowest price for the monthly refills, were $8.99 never mind the daily ones. Ugh!

Hey, I figured I can find them at Walmart! After driving in traffic for about 20 minutes they did not have them! Ugh!

I set out to Office Depot! Another twenty minutes of traffic in another direction. It seems that this is the average price for these things! So I break and decided to buy them. While waiting in line for what seems like an eternity, the cashier rings me up. MY CARD DECLINES! What? How could this be? Hubby just transferred money into the account! Ugh!

I drive back home rather upset at this point. I have traveled near and far for nothing! I arrive home to then find my toilet is backed up! Okaaaaay double UGH!

As I am preparing soup for my son, the water I just boiled spills over my fingers and at that exact moment my husband calls me! Yeah, you guessed right! Conversation was not that pleasant! Well at least I wasn’t! Ugh!

"Lord can you shorten my cross a little? Just a little more?"

A friend happens to send me an email and it’s a cartoon of people carrying their crosses. They were slumped over as they walked on their journey. This young man stops and cries out “Lord this is too heavy, please cut it down a little”. He continues to walk again and it’s still heavy “Lord can you cut it down a little more….I’ll be able to carry it better.” He continues his journey whistling with relief. They all came to a large gap on the road and were able to lay down their crosses as a bridge and cross over. That is all BUT the one with the shortened cross!

Isn't it like us to want comfort and ease in all things we do! We want shortcuts!  We complain of all the obstacles we face daily, but overall they are preparing us for the dip in the road ahead until we finish the race!

This message powerfully ministered to me the importance and significance of carrying our cross daily and following Him. We may not always understand the trials we endure in this journey called “life” and where it’s taking us, but Our Lord does! And He promises us rest along the way:

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30 (NASV)

Whatever your cross, whatever your pain,
there will always be sunshine, after the rain....

Perhaps you may stumble, perhaps even fall;
But God's always ready, to answer your call.....

He knows every heartache, sees every tear,
a word from His lips, can calm every fear...

Your sorrows may linger, throughout the night,
But suddenly vanish, dawn's early light...

The Savior is waiting, somewhere above,
to give you His grace, and send you His love....

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. (Anonymous)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"This Too Shall Pass"

Loneliness was settling in this morning.  I can feel the shadow that is covering my heart; sitting heavily.  

It’s been two weeks since my husband has left for training.  Although we have been able to communicate, there is this emptiness inside.  Previous to his departure, I had built a wall of strength on my own - preparing a fortress that I can hide behind; one that is made of stone and will not crumble in the days to come. But now I find myself buried in my emotions that I have so long suppressed.  They are arising quickly with a fierceness cracking the walls I built around my heart.  My fortress is crumbling and I feel vulnerable, exposed and weak.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Prayer for Our Soldiers

"May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you" ~Psalm 33:22

Father, My Lord, My God
I come before your throne of Grace and come with a burden for my husband and all the soldiers that are embarking on this journey to fight for our country and those who have been serving. Lord, keep them in your loving arms. Protect them from the enemy and encamp your angels around them. Give their bodies rest, replenish their souls and  renew their mind daily. Let your love and strength carry them through the day and through the night. Let your light shine upon their face and pour your joy in their hearts for the Joy of the Lord is their strength! Their hope is in you Father. Lift the burdens of their heart for their families and reassure them of their safety and love. Let your peace abound and fill them even through the midst of chaos. Pour your wisdom and keep them alert of what is lurking. Give them strategic plans to gain victory in all battles as you bring them back home safely to their families.
Encourage those they leave behind. Sustain them with your strength. Draw them to your heart and let them find rest in you. Our hope is in you Lord, and we will stand firm in our faith, believing that you will cover them and shelter them from harm. Lord let your will be done.....In Jesus Name I pray, we pray....Amen.
May God Bless you all.....


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